“Everything can be broken, eh.” A phrase I’ve often heard from my Dutch friends, when they want to score a lady who already has a friend. I often laughed at this sentence. It shows how easily Dutch people think about breaking up a relationship, but at the same time it makes me silent. It is scary. A while ago my housemate Ahmad had a friend visiting, they were playing football on the PlayStation. “I would like to go back to school man, I miss the pretty lady in our class,” said the boy to Ahmad. “But she has a friend, right? And you have a girlfriend?”Ahmad asked surprised. ,,Well friend listen, that she has a friend is no problem. Look at our game, you have a keeper and I am 3-0 ahead. The fact that she has a friend doesn’t mean I can’t score, I just have to make sure I play well, “the friend told Ahmad. I looked at the boy with a crooked face and walked away. I got mad.
A woman who has a boyfriend or husband should not be decorated by other men. That’s a red line. That’s how I was brought up. It’s called honor. Boys in Arab countries are taught from an early age that honor is a very important part of masculinity. Without honor you are not a good man. This means that you treat everyone with respect, not just the women in your own family. We have an expression in Arabic: “Put your finger in your eye. The pain you feel, that’s how it feels with someone else. ” By this we mean that you should not harm others, as you would not do yourself. In addition, it is also considered a disgrace to decorate an occupied woman. By doing this you put yourself outside society. During my integration process I adapted in many areas to Dutch society, but destroying relationships is not part of that. At this point I stick to my own principles.